The good news is that the primary elections are over. The bad news is the primary elections are not over—we now have runoffs. Then it will all be over, except it won’t be. The general election is Nov. 3, so we still have that to look forward to.
The runoffs mean another month of self-serving ads promising us (inhale) lower taxes, reduced crime, a smaller government footprint, job creation, standing up to powerful special interest groups, cutting bureaucracy, securing our borders, taking care of our veterans, improving education, and last but not least, fixing Medicare (exhale).
There have been more self-styled political pundits analyzing what happened in the primary than there are fleas on a yard dog. But since you pay me the big bucks, consider this clip-and-save material you can trot out at your next church social or cocktail party—or both.
No one else has access to the expertise of Junior E. Lee, general manager of the Yarbrough Worldwide Media and Pest Control Company, located in Greater Garfield, Ga. Junior is a highly respected political analyst and a certified pest control professional as well. The man is one of a kind. Can you imagine Tucker Carlson in your crawl space spraying for termites?
In the governor’s race, it will be a runoff between Lt. Gov. Burt Jones and healthcare executive Rick Jackson for the Republican nomination. Jones received 38% of the vote in the primary, while 33% went to Jackson. Junior says pigs down around Garfield have been asking him about renting out their sties for the runoff so that both candidates can have an ample supply of mud to sling.
Jones comes from a wealthy and politically powerful Georgia family and has already contributed $19 million to his campaign. Billionaire Jackson has put more than $83 million into the race— all for a job that pays $182,000 a year.
Whoever wins the nomination will face Democrat Keisha Lance Bottoms, a former Atlanta mayor who secured her party’s nomination without a runoff. I stopped making predictions after publicly declaring that an obscure Republican state senator from Bonaire would never beat a powerful incumbent Democratic governor. We all know how that turned out. But if the Republican nominee can’t beat Bottoms, it will be because the party still can’t quite figure out who it’s supposed to be fighting. (The Cobb County GOP even publicly censured Republican Gov. Brian Kemp, if that tells you anything.)
Bottoms was a thoroughly ineffective mayor and served only one term before being bailed out by the Biden administration to serve as director of nothing in particular in Washington.
She couldn’t manage Atlanta, and now we’re supposed to trust her with the whole state?
Speaking of Gov. Kemp, he has distinguished himself as one of the few Republicans in the state who isn’t a full-fledged Trump loyalist. He promoted Derek Dooley, son of legendary UGA football coach Vince Dooley, for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Jon Ossoff, and has helped him advance to a runoff against Congressman Mike Collins, who professes unwavering fealty to Trump.
Gone from the political scene is Republican State Sen. Steve Gooch, who was running for lieutenant governor. This is the man who argued that no legislation was needed to protect the Okefenokee National Wildlife Refuge from drilling for toothpaste whitener—just let unelected bureaucrats handle it, he said. Albert the Alligator says, "Good riddance."
Also gone are two Democratic candidates for the state Supreme Court, attorney Miracle Rankin and former state Sen. Jen Jordan, who freely told us how they would rule if elected. I thought judges were supposed to hear the evidence before rendering decisions.
Fortunately, the voters rendered theirs.
Two more political curiosities also fell from the tree.
Kandiss Taylor received 12.8% of the vote in the GOP primary for Georgia’s 1st Congressional District.
She once claimed she represented Jesus. Jesus, apparently, was not informed. Colton Moore, who brings all the grace of a fence post, insulted the late Georgia Speaker of the House, David Ralston, in front of Ralston’s family.
He received less than 7% of the vote in the 14th District GOP primary. May they both find their way into lasting political obscurity.
On a personal note, Lee Darragh won reelection as district attorney for Hall and Dawson County with 83% of the vote. He has served in that role for more than 20 years.
He is also my nephew.
Well, nephew-in-law—but in my family, we don’t really do “in-laws.” Once you’re in, you’re in for good.
Congratulations, Mr. DA.